You Don't Know About My Princess
by Cereal-Killa
Summary: Why did they bring this uptight asshole that had to let everything be handled by her lawyer? “Get it over with Princess!” shouted the green haired boy separated from Courtney with a thin veil of cloth. Oh yeah, he thought, that’s why. DxC one-shot.


**This is like, the longest one-shot I've ever done. For real.**

*******

It had been a year after TDI, and Courtney couldn't believe this was happening. Her current boyfriend, Derek, was now sitting across the room from her ex-boyfriend, Duncan. They were both watching each other with steely eyes.

How had Duncan got here, she would never know, considering he lived in a whole different part of Canada. That was the whole reason they had broke up before, due to long distance. And now, Duncan, who had finally moved out of his parent's house, gotten an apartment in Courtney town, and looked her up, was here, sitting in living room.

The worst part- Derek had been at her house then, sitting on the couch. And as soon as they saw each other, they looked deadly.

"Who are you?" hissed Duncan.

Derek rolled his eyes. "I should be asking you the same, weirdo who just let himself in."

"It was unlocked." He said.

"Uh, no it wasn't."

"Well, I made it unlocked." He grunted. "Where's Courtney?"

Derek raised a brow. "Why do you need to know, stupid ass?"

"She's my girl."

"Uh, no she's not. She's mine."

And then Courtney walked into the room. And all hell broke loose.

And now here they were, in her living room, with the two shooting daggers at each other.

Courtney liked Derek. He was successful, had good grades, and had thirteen lawyers. Thirteen! That was a turn on.

Courtney had loved Duncan before, but he hadn't called for a whole year. She had to move on. Her parents had told her he wasn't doing her good anyway- they were the ones who recommended she go out with Derek.

Out of nowhere, a camera crew burst in the room. The two ex-campers gasped when they saw the devil himself walk in- Chris. Wearing a smirk, he rubbed his hands together. "Duncan! Courtney!" Looking to Derek, he raised a brow. "Guy I don't know! Nice to see you all!"

Courtney scowled. "What are you doing here?"

"The door was unlocked, and we decided to see what you two lovebirds were up to." He smiled devilishly into the camera. "And… we are going to have you on a new show!" They both scowled at him, and he held up a hand. "Just one episode, no camp involved."

Derek grimaced. "The door wasn't unlocked."

"Yes it was."

"Uh, no, it wasn't."

"Well, we made it unlocked." Chris sighed. "Courtney, is this smart ass your new boyfriend?"

Courtney nodded, looking to her new man. "Derek." Duncan growled, and Chris smirked.

"I see some old feelings haven't died yet." _Just as I suspected. _"Which is why we want you to go on the show, 'TDI Couples: Makeup or Breakup- the Continuation of TDI love!" He nodded, loving the idea. "You guys have to answer questions about Courtney, getting points, and then, at the end, Courtney picks her man!"

Courtney shook her head. "No! I'm not having men fight over me!"

Chris stared at her. "Okay, any other woman who heard you say that might think you were high. You don't wanna do it?" _Maybe she'll accept if I throw in a mud pit._

"No!" She sighed.

"Too bad." He said. "We have you under contract. And its lawyer proof!" He pointed to the old TDI contract, were the fine print was smaller than the tip of fingernail. And Courtney's signature was at the bottom.

"Ugh!" Courtney screamed, turning to the two boys in the room. They both smiled at her, and then grimaced at each other.

"Looks like its war." Duncan growled.

"It's already over." Hissed Derek.

Courtney sighed. "This is stupid!"

***

Courtney sat in between two curtains, with Duncan and Derek on either side of the curtains. She wondered exactly what questions would be asked about her. She waved Chris over, looking out at the many cameras' and the huge audience. "Will this involve any personal information? Like really personal?"

Chris shook his head. "Nope. We only ask questions about like what's your favorite this, your favorite that." He grimaced. "I asked if we could dig up some dirt on you, but the producers said no."

Courtney scowled at him, getting back in her place on the high stool.

Derek walked away from his side of the curtain, going around the back and heading over to where Duncan was sitting. He stood in front of the pierced teen, grinning widely.

Duncan grimaced. "What do you want?" He wasn't in the mood to hear about how much this guy loved Courtney- because Duncan knew he loved her more.

Derek was one of those guys that parents loved because they were _'just adorable', _and they would always have enough money to support their child. In other words- the type of guy Duncan usually beat the crap out of.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that if you're after her money, I could give it to you." Derek smiled wickedly. "I know how you juvenile types are, and I'm telling you now- if you forfeited the game now, or even just threw the whole challenge, it wouldn't take me two seconds to go into 'Daddy's' big bank and steal a few thousand. Trust me, I've done it before." Derek watched Duncan happily. "Sound like a deal?"

Duncan eyed him, and he felt so angry all of a sudden. He didn't even like her? "No, it doesn't. You can keep Courtney's money where it needs to be- were going to be fighting over her, and I'm going to win."

Derek scowled, and sighed. "Have it your way. I guess I'll just have to win the old fashioned way." He smirked and walked back to his seat.

Chris watched the three kids and shouted, 'Makeup'! Ten people came up and powdered his face. Once they were done, Chris smiled. "Okay, ready."

Someone shouted, 'On the air in 3, 2-"

Some theme music began playing, while Chris began talking. "Hello, and welcome to the new show 'TDI Couples: Makeup or Breakup- the Continuation of TDI love!" Many people cheered, holding up pictures of Duncan and Courtney together, and then some with an x on either one's face. The delinquent and C.I.T. both felt their faces go red. It had been a year, hadn't it? Were they really still that popular?

Chris looked into the audience. "Duncan and Courtney are having some problems, and we'd like to hear your comments on it!" People screamed and whooped, holding up their hands, and stomping their feet.

A light scanned the audience, stopping on a red headed girl. She jumped up giddily and ran towards the stage. Chris held up the mike to her, smirking. "And what's your name, little boy?"

She scoffed, but smiled at the camera. "My name is Tabitha, and I love Duncan and Courtney!" She waved to both of them, jumping up and down.

Chris raised a brow. "How do you feel about them breaking up?"

Tabitha put her hands on her face. "I was so shocked! Like, how could you guys break up? It's so wrong. So wrong!" She then ran up to Duncan and hugged him, while Duncan looked at her uneasily. He mouth the words 'help me' at the camera, and security came and tugged her off.

"I love you Duncan! I love you too Courtney!" Tabitha squirmed in their grasp. "Can I hug her too?"

Duncan brushed off his shirt, shuddering from his hug with Tabitha. Were there other people like that who were obsessed with them?

"Okay…" Chris rolled his eyes, "We have time for one more comment!"

The light went around again, this time landing on a guy with blonde hair. He walked up to the stage with a large smile on his face.

Chris was happy that this guy looked sane. "What's your name man?"

"Alex." He grinned, looking at Courtney.

"And how do you feel about Duncan and Courtney's break up?"

He nodded his head. "Well, Courtney's hot, and I mean, the less she hangs out with Duncan, the more time I can spend stalking her."

Everyone gasped. "What?" asked Courtney, her eyes wide.

Alex nodded excitedly. "Yup! Go to for more information!" (a/n: I checked if it was real. It's not :P) He ran up to Courtney, hugging her happily. "SECURITY!" Courtney screamed.

Chris darted his eyes. "We'll be back after the break!"

***

The show continued, showing Alex being carted off in a straight jacket.

Chris laughed. "I think that's it for audience comments!" He gestured to the ex-campers. "It's time for the game!"

"Get ready to lose!" shouted Derek!

"You don't know a thing about her!" Duncan growled.

"Okay," said Chris, happy and enjoying this way more than he should be. "Start it Courtney!"

The mocha haired teen sat there, quite annoyed. She put her arms in a cross, shaking her head at the host. Chris grimaced, wondering why they couldn't have brought Bridgette or Gwen- heck, even Heather on the show! Why did they bring this uptight asshole that had to let everything be handled by her lawyer?

"Get it over with Princess!" shouted the green haired boy separated from Courtney with a thin veil of cloth.

_Oh yeah, _he thought, _that's why._

Courtney, who fumed quietly at the delinquent's voice, picked up the card. "What's my favorite food?"

Derek slammed down on the button. "Pineapples?" He piped out innocently, looking into the camera.

Courtney smiled. "That's right."

Duncan rolled his eyes. He couldn't even believe this guy.

Picking up the next card, the C.I.T. looked to Chris. He shrugged, and mouthed the words 'just read it'. Sighing, she read the card. "What's my favorite type of lotion- the one I put on my hands almost every 3 hours?" _No real personal information my ass._

Duncan slammed the buzzer, and then looked dumbfounded. "Um… it's…that one lotion brand?"

_BEEEEEP!_

Duncan held his head down in shame. He couldn't believe this!

Suddenly, another buzzer went off.

"Is it Burt's Bee's Moisturizer?" said Derek, smirking.

_He shouldn't be smirking! That's my smirk!_

"Correct!"

***

Duncan rubbed his temples, not believing this. The score was 17 to 5! FIVE! He was pathetic.

"This is the last question, and then our lovely C.I.T. gets to choose who gets her heart, and who gets da boot!" said Chris cheerily. He just couldn't stop giggling.

Courtney picked up the last card. "Who is my favorite singer?"

Duncan's hand was on the button, but it was too late.

"Is it Mariah Carry?"

"That's-"

"You don't even know why, you asshole!"

Everyone gasped in the audience, turning to the pierced teen for a rebuttal. He looked so mad. "All those question you answered, you don't know the reasons behind them at all, do you?"

"What are you talking about?" said Derek, eyes sharp.

Courtney peeked from behind the curtain. "Don't make a scene, Duncan."

She saw Duncan's eyes get steely and watched as he cracked his knuckles.

_Oh man, _she thought, _he's gonna make a scene, isn't he?_

"Do you know why she likes pineapples? It's because she used to pack the fruit cup everyday during her first year at school, and it made her feel better." He shouted out everything in Derek's stupid face. His fist was dangerously close to his nose, so Derek didn't try to tick him off by telling him to shut up. "She likes to watch Jackass sometimes because it's funny, but she always stops in the middle and starts watching something more subtle. She always uses Colgate toothpaste, never Crest, because she thinks the word _Crest_ rolls off her tongue wrong."

Derek's eyes shot daggers at him. He didn't want for him to say any of this.

"And she likes Mariah Carry only because her sister used to drive her in her car when she was six and they would listen to 'Hero' all the time. It was her favorite!" Duncan fumed once more, as he pulled Derek up by the collar. "You don't know anything about my Princess!"

Everyone was quiet. Duncan was still breathing hard; Derek was still looking at him angrily. And then, a browned haired teen jumped out and grabbed the green haired kid in a hug. "Awe, Duncan! I love you too!"

The audience started whooping and clapping. They paid good money to see this! And it most definitely didn't go to waste! Tabitha whooped and started the wave. Alex's muffled voice was crying as he saw Courtney kiss Duncan and not him.

Derek watched as they both kissed, yelling "What the hell?" He ran up, trying to tear them apart, and he was then surprised when Courtney kicked him where the sun don't shine.

Chris stepped in front of the camera. "Join us next week, and watch as Gwen and Courtney battle it out!"

Courtney glared at him, and then punched Duncan in the stomach. Duncan feel over, looking at Chris.

"Kidding!" Chris laughed, but ran as Courtney began chasing him too.

"I want my lawyer!"

"I want one too!" shouted Duncan, wheezing in pain.

The camera focused on Chris, who was still being chased by Courtney. "So do I!"

***

**That was a long one-shot.**

**R&R!**


End file.
